2007 EASTERN MISSOURI DODGEBALL ASSOCIATION
Week 3 TOURNAMENT RESULTS

MARSHALL FORD INVITATIONAL: The opening night kicked off with a bang as we find the new team--the Magnums--are going to be a force to be reckoned with. Sgt. Dan Mahoney and Big Ben Huffman should not be taken lightly. Also fairing well in the tourney is Not to Mess With--one of the dangerous teams in the league. Every opponent that walks away from their game usually says something like "dang they're good." New Hillbilly players like Dan "Maxwell" Smart assisted their team to a couple of competitive losses before beating the Street Signs--one of the most fun teams to watch because they are always smiling despite their competitive demeanor. Dodge This, led by some surviving members of the old school Tom's Dodging Divas are looking up to the skies for a re-appearance of the legend--Tom Crowe. Uh, not really, they just have a lot of fun like Street Signs--and even manage to knock of a few opponents from time to time (folks say Lizzie D has got skills).

But the big news in the Marshall Ford Invitational was the big upset, and then the next one. First, the Stingrays--a team thought to be in the Big Four with the 636 Boys, ZBB, and the Dream Team, fell in a prelim game to the Broncos--a team that had yet to garner a ton of respect. Rays' players Kevin Combs "My Hair" and Andrew "John Wilkes" Boothe have the team stationed in a powerful 12-2 at the midpoint with a 2 game divisional lead. But, they could not win the Marshall Ford Invite. As for the Broncos, they took the momentum they had gained from the upset into the championship match--only to lose to a resurrected Dudley Boy team. The Bronx bombers--favored for the 1st team since league entrance with members such as Michael "Douglas" Albietz, Dustin "Rhodes" Mueller, and Scott "Lowrey" Littrell--succumbed to the likes of Dan "Hampton" Williams, Justin "Credible" Ballieu, John "Mark" Harmon, and Joe "the French" Rivera of the Dudleys. Congrats to both teams on a great night.

GOWRAN AUTO INVITATIONAL: In the most incredible tourney of the evening--one featuring 4 ranked teams that all must play each other--there was going to be bloodshed. Why? Because teams that won would be pushed to the limits. And those that lost were going to be devastated. So here comes the good, the bad, and the ugly.

First, the good, the Wild Dogs brought their A game. Thought to be an also-ran, this rabid team has now clawed its way to a 6-8 record--and almost won their side of the bracket posting a 2-1 mark. The Captain Planets (8-2 in their last 10 games) are getting better and better. Ryan "Doctor Blight" McGuire, Dan "Duke Nukem" Jones, Cody "Looten Plunder" Hasty, and Zach "Sly Sludge" Brendel are approaching superhero levels. The came a vicious one-on-one away from upending the Bad Boys. Likewise, the Burritos put themselves in a great position despite missing a couple of their peeps. But, this hard-luck team that seems to lose more 2-1 contests than any other in the league, came away with just a 2-2 record and is beginning to drift away from their playoff vision.

Now, the bad...the real bad...the Zumwalt Bad Boys. After suffering their first defeat in 2 years one week ago, they were back with a vengeance. But when the championship game came around, standing in their way was the Holt football team--better known as This is Sparta. Marcus "Harley" Davidson, Chaz "Don't Call Me OJ" Simpson, "Flyin'" Ryan Turnquist, K-Mill, and their Jedi Knight Luke "Skywalker" Estes played well enough to put themselves in the championship game. Because of a controversial call, ZBB was allowed to walk away with the titles in a game the Spartans wish they had back.

Finally, for the ugly, two awesome teams got upended with 1-3 marks--mostly based on their level of competition. Despite the efforts of Jake "No Bake" Goodson, Kyle "Mr. Dardenne Prairie" Holtkamp, and the Underberg Twins, they got beat pretty handedly in the absence of "North" Dakota Hemmingway. Yet, they did get an upset win over the Hitmen, a team that had their worst night in two years. Losing all 3 of their games by close margins and close calls prior to getting a win over Arson--the Hitmen went home with their heads hanging low. As for Arson...where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?

PASTOR STEVE EASTERWOOD INVITATIONAL: In a softer tournament, we find out that there is nothing soft about the E-Town Rangers, the league's last undefeated team. In a nutshell, nobody can believe the whole team is only in 7th grade, because quite honestly, their abilities defy logic. And nothing else but a championship was ever in question. But, the Vicious Vixens gave them a run for the money. This 8-6 bubble team, made up of "Eli" Whitney Bowman, Haley "Roots" Powell, Hali "Clever in the Hills" Whitfield, Tanner "the Bad News Bear" Browning, and Trevor "Captain" Murdock made their way to the final game slicing a quick 3-0 through all their opponents.

Staying one game ahead of the Vixens were their arch-rival, the Emo Kidz. The muscle bound ladies team of Jamie "Tough And" Buerhle, Kayla "NY" Metz, Chelcy "Tiny" Liliensieck, and "The Dock" moved to 9-5 on the evening. As for Sweet Feet, they knocked off another win--congrats go out to the ladies and their male assistants including "Random" Brandon Panosh.

For the rest of the pack, it was an exciting event with ups and downs. For the Boon Dox, they just about got on the board in the win column by taking two of their matches to the rubber game. Good work Ethan "Allen" Pashia, James "Gimrock" Ashlock, and the others. Keep on fighting cause you are close. And kudos go to the Wildcats, who are now 6-8 and on the verge of breaking into the top 8 in the Co-Ed division (led by the dodging abilities of "From the East to the" Weston Crim and Jared "2 Legit to Quit" Gardner). Keep on eye on the Roaring Jackalopes as they make their move northward under the athletic abilities of Dan "the Man" Zerr, Wil "the Dodging Dachshund" Hanke, and David "Fu" Manche "Chu." Finally, don't look now, but the Bearded Unicorns have won again. Congrats as they continue to move up under the abilities of Josh "Kiss Me I'm Not Irish" O'Steen.

MEADOWBROOK LAWN INVITATIONAL: As for the nightcap, Dream Team reigned supreme. Get used to hearing the names Eric "Christopher" Reed, Matt "Rush" Limbaugh, Jason "Willie" Mayes, Matt "East" Lansing, and the "Polish Hammer" Michael Romanchuk. They are 13-1, they beat the powerhouse 636 Boys (pretty easily actually), and have emerged as the new Number One. As for the boys from Little Caesar, their stay atop league leaders was only for one week, but don't think for one moment that Bill "Oh Canada" Kannady, or Austin "Powers" Steinbecker plan to stay down long.

In a surprising turn of events that will be lost and forgotten by other teams--was the outstanding performance shown by the Mean Machines. With another MVP night played by Ron "Stoppable" Cresong, "Cut to the" Chase Cresong, Peter "and the Wolf" Merz, and Michael "I Like Little Mikey" Krutcher, they took a 1-0 lead over the Dream Team and almost caused them to have a nightmare.

The Cuts and Vendetta also had fairly good nights with both teams going 2-2 (though they played much better than their record shows). Technically, they both gained ground in the hunt for the Co-Ed crown, they really felt they could have upset some of the big dogs in the boys division. Vendetta's ability in the rectangular arena does not match their 7-7 record, as they continue to look forward to having one of those 4-1 or 5-0 nights that can separate them from the Co-Ed crowd.

The Saints, another pretty decent 7-7 Co-Ed team had a tougher evening. They too are on the verge of emerging to a high level in the Co-ed, but took a step backwards only because of the fierce competition they faced. And in an epic shootout, there was on a one-on-one battle between members of the Guardians and the X-men that lasted over 5 minutes (no joke, both men were exhausted and could hardly stand up when they were done). But in the end, X-Men leader Andy "Sly" Fox's ball made contact with Guardian member Chris "a piece of Iron" Glass as both men passed out to end a great game with a standing ovation.

WASSUP IN WEEK FOUR: The biggest test will be for the 14-0 E-Town Rangers as they face serious opposition from both Not to Mess With and a vengeful minded Captain Planets who had an earlier Week One setback they wish to make up for. The match of the night will face the Zumwalt Bad Boys attempting to regain their top spot when they face off against the #1 ranked Dream Team, then continue their difficult evening against the Hitmen and the Mean Machines. The 636 Boys likewise have a tough road ahead having to face the Dudleys, Stingrays, and the Broncos--and all three could knock them down. Lastly, the Boon Dox will have a soft enough schedule to more than likely gain their first win of the season--and the crowds are waiting in careful watch to celebrate with them when they do get in the win column.



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